Buy Yogi albums!
half-pint demigod (2005)
at CDBaby.com
Salve EP (2003)
at Amazon.com
at CDBaby.com
Any Raw Flesh? (2001)
at Amazon.com
at CDBaby.com
Sister Sites:
HalfZaftig.com
Wonky-Records.com
MySpace
|
| 6/30/2004 |
| Way To Go, Web-Head |
Spider-Man 2 is really good, but I'm not as ecstatic as many of the reviewers I've read are - for me (and this is true of SO MANY of the superhero movies made, going back even to Superman and Burton's Batman) there wasn't enough Spider-Man himself. I want more of the super guy in red and blue. MORE!
The audience at the Cinerama, being the type of crowd that would show up for a midnight screening of a Spider-Man movie on a weeknight, didn't seem to have the same issues. When the credits came up, the audience exploded into rapturous applause. Oh well, what do I know, anyway?
Doc Ock ruled though. Best movie supervillain ever. I have a big gripe about how his character arc completed as well, but that's going into spoiler territory. Good flick. |
| 3:05:50 AM |
|
|
| 6/29/2004 |
| SIFF Redux |
Going to see Spider-Man 2 at the Cinerama tonight at midnight! w00t! I think it's lame that they caved and renamed the movie - the original title, The Amazing Spider-Man was so much better. What, did the studio's marketing department think that without a digit on the end of the title we wouldn't know it's a sequel? Sheesh.
The really hard part is going to be forcing myself to not get popcorn tonight, since that delectable substance isn't very on my current diet. Urgh.
SIFF ended like, over two weeks ago now, but I finally got off my ass and wrote up some reviews the other day for several of the flicks I saw during its run. I submitted them to AICN, but they haven't printed them this time, and I guess since SIFF is old news now, I understand why. Still, the movies I reviewed haven't been released nationally yet so I thought they might have a shot. Anyway, I wrote the following reviews with possible publication at AICN in mind, so those of you who know me or have been reading the site for any length of time will notice stuff in there that caters to that. Before Sunset opens this weekend. If you haven't seen the movie it's a sequel to (Before Sunrise), then rent that one or move it to the top of you Netflix queue.
***
OK, SIFF has been over for more than a week and these reviews are late, because I
wasn't going to bother sending them in, but then I saw the new Before Sunset review that
ran today, and I wanted to reiterate what that reviewer said about how terrific the movie
is, and if I'm gonna write up a review of that one, I figured I might as well write up
reviews of a couple of other flicks that I saw at SIFF as well. If you decide to run any of
this, I'd just like to send out a preemptive "Blow Me" to all those who called me a
"pretentious plant" after you ran my Open Water review. Pretentious, I may be. A plant, I
am not!
BEFORE SUNSET
I was positive that no film released in 2004 could be better than Eternal Sunshine Of The
Spotless Mind, and I'm not sure if Before Sunset IS "better", but it's definitely a toss-up
between the two for my favorite film of the year so far. Linklater's movie is by far the
best film I saw at SIFF this year, and it absolutely clobbered me emotionally in a similar
way that ESOTSM did.
I have to thank whoever it is that managed to program a screening of the original film,
Before Sunrise, earlier in the day at the Harvard Exit, I only wish it could've played back-
to-back where Before Sunset screened, at the Cinerama, which is by far the best movie
house in town. That's just a little quibble, though. I'd missed Before Sunrise in its
original theatrical run, and only caught it years later on video; I was very grateful for a
chance to see the movie on a big screen. I'd very much encourage Warners to consider
doing this on a large scale, with a limited re-release to theaters of Before Sunrise - these
movies are truly meant to be seen in tandem. At the very least, it's worth renting the first
film before you go catch the new one. There are lots of little visual references in Before
Sunset that refer to events and even specific shots in the first film.
You've all heard the story synopsis in other reviews. You've also read a bunch of
spoilers, so I'll try not to ruin what suspense is left for you. Short version: in the first
film, a young couple spends a magical night in Vienna falling in love after just meeting
that same day. They make a pact to meet again in Vienna six months later, and the movie
ends there. Now, in Before Sunset, it's nine years later, and we find out what did and
didn't happen between them at their proposed meeting six months after they first met,
and in the intervening years.
I don't remember why I didn't see Before Sunrise nine years ago, but I'll bet it was
because of my knee-jerk dislike of Ethan Hawke, which was very much stirred up the
year before by the movie Reality Bites. I loathed his character in that film (and by
extension, ended up hating that movie), and I probably made the mistake of confusing
who he is in real-life with that asshole he played in RB. While there were still moments
in Before Sunrise where I just wanted to smack him, I can now see Hawke's performance
was very much on the mark. I'm about the same age as the two characters in these films,
and I knew guys like Jesse. And you can't blame his character for falling for Julie
Delpy's Celine, especially as she opened up to be surprisingly thoughtful and fiery as that
first night progressed. What the original film captured so well is that magic that can
happen between a couple when the circumstances are right; and now in Before Sunset, we
see two people who have come to understand that sort of magic is exceedingly rare.
OK, so I've copped to being a long-time Ethan Hawke hater. With Before Sunset, I have
been truly blown away by a Hawke performance for the first time. Of the two characters
in the movie, he has changed outwardly the most, which is demonstrated wonderfully
with a few well-chosen glimpses of Jesse and Celine from the first movie. Jesse carries a
gaunt sadness that is leagues away from the arrogant kid he once was. Delpy is
improbably even more beautiful now than she was nine years ago (though the smoking is
a turn-off). Everything about how they meet up again is perfectly handled - though this
movie is in real time unlike its predecessor. Jesse's gotta be on a plane in 90 minutes, and
so there's an urgency to this second meeting that's underlying everything they say. The
actors are just note-perfect, from the initial "So, how ya been?" discussions to their later
emotional outpourings as time is running out. There's a scene in the back of the car that is
driving Jesse and Celine to the airport that is about as good as writing and acting gets -
I'm waiting for the national release just so I can go see that scene a couple of more times.
Another of my very favorite things about the story is the setup - something that might
come off as corny or contrived to some viewers. Jesse is on a book tour for his best-
selling novel about that first magical meeting with Celine all those years ago. Because
when they left each other they didn't exchange phone numbers or even last names (and
this was pre-email and IM, don't forget), they had no way to even begin to track each
other down. Sure, Jesse grew up to be a writer, and yeah, he "worked out his feelings"
about that lost chance by writing about it. But I think that Jesse, somewhere in the back
of his mind was also thinking, "Maybe she'll see this. And maybe... she'll contact me."
And the look on his face when he realizes it worked is priceless.
Again, I'm about the same age as these two, and there were times when I was watching
the movie that I literally wanted to crawl under my seat and hide, because some of the
things Jesse and Celine were saying and the old hurts they were uncovering with such
devastating honesty hit very close to home. This movie is not just about these two - it's
also about all the other people that have come into their lives since they met, and all the
things that have gone wrong, and how in their heart of hearts, Jesse and Celine have held
each other in their minds as this IDEAL that they are measuring their relationships with
other people against. "The one that got away" is the cliched way of referring to situations
like this, but don't most of us really have people in our lives that affected us strongly, but
for one reason or another have disappeared completely? Haven't you really blown it with
somebody in your past, and wished for a chance to make it right? Haven't you rehearsed
what you would say if you ever got a chance to see that person again a thousand times?
Have you ever spent time thinking about how to make that meeting happen?
I don't know how the new flick will play to 20-somethings, because when you're in your
twenties, you still think nothing bad could ever happen and even if it does, the sky is the
limit; you got all the time in the world. And that's all right for those of you at that age -
that's how you're supposed to feel right now. But there are lessons to be learned by what
these characters talk about. As Celine says sadly late in the movie (I'm paraphrasing),
"You think that you will have connections with people like this all the time, but then you
find out it only happens a couple of times in your life if you are lucky."
In the end, this movie like the first ends on an ambiguous, yet hopeful note. Hawke and
Delpy are remarkable, and Linklater's direction is amazing. It's awfully hard to make
movies about "people talking" compelling, but this movie grabs you and won't let you
go. The packed house at the Cinerama screening could barely breathe during the last
scenes, and when the screen went black and the credits came up, the applause was
immediate and intense. This one's a keeper.
GARDEN STATE
Another movie that screened at the Cinerama to a full house. Like a lot of people, I was
floored by this movie's trailer, and I had high hopes for it. I've seen a few episodes of
"Scrubs" and I thought they were really funny. And any movie that gives Natalie
Portman a chance to act and also be impossibly cute is one I'm automatically in line for
on opening day. Yes, having admitted my age in the prior review, this fact makes me a
dirty old man. Oh well, we all have our demons.
So, how's the movie? Overall, it gets a "pretty solid" from me. I wanted it to be as great
as the trailer made it look, and it isn't quite as successful as I hoped it would be. There
are fabulous things about it. Writer/director Zach Braff plays Andrew Largeman, who is
returning to his native New Jersey for the first time in years to attend the funeral of his
mother. He's estranged from his family, especially his father (a psychiatrist played by Ian
Holm), who apparently thinks the best way to deal with your problems is to medicate
them away. While in town, he meets up with some of his old high school buddies, and
has a meet cute with a local "troubled-but-wise-beyond-her-years-eccentric" gal named
Sam (Portman) who has secret "issues" of her own. Sparks fly between Sam and
Largeman, and being around his family and friends again cause him to finally confront
the issues in his life that the medication was supposed to be helping him ignore/forget.
The acting is generally great across-the-board. Peter Sarsgaard impresses as Largeman's
old buddy Mark, who digs graves for a living and smokes a lot of pot to numb himself to
life's disappointments. The movie is very successful in portraying Largeman's transition
from the zombie we first meet to the guy who starts to take charge of his life by the end.
Portman is as mentioned before impossibly adorable, but I think the script tries too hard
to make her the "quirky" girl, and a lot of the things she says and does felt phony to me.
On the other hand, she does have a great scene in the airport at the end. Holm is wasted,
and I couldn't help but wonder if there might be some missing scenes between Largeman
and his dad that didn't make the cut. The scene where Largeman finally faces down his
old man seemed just a little too pat to me, and while that moment is supposed to be a big
emotional payoff and a turning point for Largeman, it didn't feel earned.
All these reservations aside, I was still entertained by the movie, and Braff looks like a
filmmaker to watch - some of the jokes killed, and there's a party scene shot from
Largeman's perspective after he's taken an illegal substance that is so perfect you can't
believe it. And I don't know if I've ever imagined a scene involving a CAT-scan as
funny, but darned if Braff didn't figure out a way to create one. The movie also has lots
of visual invention and interesting shot composition, much of which you've likely seen
if you seen either of the two trailers. And there was some great dialogue, especially
something Largeman says about how your perception of what "home" is changes over
time that really resonated. Even though it wasn't the home run I wanted, I look forward to
seeing Garden State again.
And then there were two "music" documentaries that I saw during the festival:
METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER
I have been a great fan of Metallica over the years. I happen to think that the last great
album they made was ...And Justice For All. I hadn't bought a new Metallica album in
many years until last year's St. Anger, which I picked up for two reasons: 1) Best Buy
had the version of it with the DVD for $9.99 and 2) the huge hoopla that erupted from
their fan base about the production values of the album. St. Anger is mediocre. The
production is crummy, the songs tend to be overlong and drawn out, and James' vocals
are... well, "unpolished" is putting it kindly. On the plus side, I give the band credit for
truly trying something different, and as someone who believes that Kirk Hammett is the
worst famous guitarist who has ever lived, the fact that there is not ONE horrible Kirk
Hammett guitar solo on the album made me very happy indeed. That guy is the very
definition of SUCK. And now, having seen this movie, I have some newfound respect for
the band and even St. Anger. That this record even got made at all is pretty impressive.
Time to cop to something else: in addition to being a dirty old man, I've also been a rock
musician for nearly 20 years, playing in scores of bands, making several records, playing
hundreds and hundreds of live shows. Though I've never been involved in a project even
close to the level that Metallica is at, what this movie proves is that on a personal level at
least, being in a band that sells a bazillion albums is no different than being in a band that
has yet to even play one gig. I only mention this because my experience as a musician
and band mate gives me a slightly different perspective than many viewers will have
when they see this movie, especially if they've never been in a band before.
The movie began with the documentary filmmakers being hired to film rehearsals and
sessions for a new Metallica album - the band had done this sort of thing before when
they made prior albums (and there are shots from the recording of the "black" album
sprinkled through this film to great effect). Right before work on the new album was to
begin, bassist Jason Newstead quit the band, which shook everyone involved. Relations
between members of the group were at an all-time low, and so the band hired a guy
named Phil who's a kind of "therapist to the stars" that sports teams bring in when
they're not getting along. His job is to try to foster communication between the guys in
the band and get them relating to each other again. Not everybody in the band is into the
therapy idea, nor are they excited about filming the process. What nobody realizes at the
beginning is that this continues for two years.
During those two years, among other things, lead singer/national treasure James Hetfield
ends up going into rehab for a year, having almost no contact with the band during that
time, the whole Lars vs. Napster hubbub happens, thousands if not millions of dollars are
wasted on studio rentals and sessions and who knows what else. In the end, the band
manages to hold it together, hire a new bass player, finish St. Anger, and go off on tour.
I found myself getting really angry with the audience I saw the movie with while I was
watching it. If you've never seen or read any interviews with the members of Metallica,
they are salt of the earth types, blue-collar kids who formed a band, transformed a genre,
and became mega-stars. I've found that their audience relates to the band so strongly
because the band members are very much like them. The audience had no compunctions
about hooting and hollering the whole time like they were at a Metallica show. They also
yelled and jeered during a lot of the "serious" moments when band members were in the
middle of the many therapy sessions - and some of the stuff that gets onscreen is
excruciatingly painful to watch; I was having nightmare flashbacks to similar situations
I've been through (though none of mine involved therapists who were earning $40,000 a
month on retainer).
On the one hand, I get where this crowd was coming from - these guys are mega-
millionaires! Get over it, right? Stop all this whining and write something as cool as "The
Thing That Should Not Be" again! Maybe everyone out there in fan-land thinks that
being in a band is all about money n' hookers n' blow, oh my, but what it's REALLY
like is a marriage with no sex (unless you're Fleetwood Mac, I guess). You're in a
committed relationship with creative people, trying to achieve a goal. You have to trust
these people you're playing with completely, and you're often cooped up with them for
months and even years at a time on the road. They become your family, and you get to
know how to push everyone's buttons, and you learn all the worst things about each
other. This is where we see Metallica in the movie, and we watch them try to grapple
with the causes of their current problems, and try to come to some middle ground where
they can tolerate just being in each other's presence again, much less create music.
Again, I'm amazed after what we see here that they're still a band today (and honestly, I
question the wisdom of them remaining together). James comes back to the band after
being gone for a year with a fresh coat of "rehab glaze," spouting 12-step expressions to
the obvious discomfort of his musical compadres. We also see all the people on the
periphery - producers, management, radio stations, other business types, MTV - all
pulling at the band, all trying to get something from them. The scene where the band
plays newly finished tunes to their manager is classic - at first he's really enthusiastic,
but the longer he sits there, the more he starts checking his watch. We see the truly
bizarre relationship between Lars and his father. We see Hammett being the whiny bitch
that he is (oops, sorry, is that bias peeking through?), although I will say that the point he
makes when they have the discussion about "to play guitar solos or not" is a valid one.
In the end, the movie is an engrossing and probably unprecedented look at the inner
workings of one of the biggest metal bands that has ever played. It IS hard sometimes to
watch these guys moan and complain and worry about the future of Metallica, even as
they sell off their million-dollar art collections (so they can buy a new one), or relax on
their huge ranches. The comparisons to This Is Spinal Tap are inevitable and apt at times.
But this kind of stuff really does happen with bands at all levels, and it's nice to see it
shown so honestly.
NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO TALK TO CHILDREN
This one is pretty under the radar, in fact, it doesn't even have an IMDB listing (here's a
link to its description on the SIFF site). This is director George Roca's first film, and he
attended its SIFF premiere at The Egyptian. He said (in the post-screening Q&A) that it
was shot with mini-DV cameras, and edited on Final Cut Pro. The footage was shot in
color, but they converted it to black and white after the fact (except for some parts of the
performance scenes where they left in the reds). The movie was projected digitally as
well.
The film documents four sold-out performances by the White Stripes at the Bowery
Ballroom in New York in April, 2002. Roca and his crew shot all four shows with the
cooperation of the band, in addition to all the expected backstage hijinks. There aren't
any "talking head" style interviews with any of the players, as the movie is intended to be
a "fly on the wall" experience, and it does deliver that at least, with varying degrees of
success. The performance footage is pretty good, and the band is in decent form, though
singer Jack White was ailing from bronchitis at the time. The White Stripes at the time of
the shooting of the film were building a huge underground buzz, which culminated in
their 2003 crossover to the mainstream with their Elephant record.
In the end, I'd have to say that I'd only recommend the movie to die-hard Stripes fans -
the performances are pretty watchable overall with decent sound. The "backstage" stuff is
where the movie gets tedious - the audio is uniformly bad, and it's nearly impossible to
follow the conversations - which I guess is how it would be if you were really in a
roomful of hipsters all trying to "out-cool" each other. So, if nothing else, the depiction of
what happens backstage is accurate. Roca also uses lots of "arty" techniques throughout
that REALLY started to bug me - many of the shots were run through what I imagine
must be some Final Cut Pro feature that drops and blurs frames, so that the people in the
scenes were moving in jerky, blurry, "slow-motion." Maybe this was intended to make
the shots look less digital or more "film-like", but the effect was irritating.
There's no real attempt to get into the heads of the creative element of the band - our
view is all from the outside. There was also no attempt to make a continuing "story" out
of the footage they got - we see a couple songs, we cut to after the show. We try really
hard to hear people talk about things after the show, but can't really hear them. We thrill
to see other famous hipsters (ooh, there's JULIAN CASABLANCAS!). More songs.
Wash. Rinse. Repeat. ZZzzzzzzz.
I went to this movie to try and wrap my head around the appeal of the White Stripes. I
admit that I don't quite get it - though I do admire Jack White's voice and he is a riveting
live performer. Director Roca termed this band the new generation's Nirvana - and while
I don't doubt he truly feels that way, it's a concept I find laughable. What I don't
understand is why a talented guy like Jack White would purposely sabotage his material
with a sub-par, um, "ensemble." Especially when you hear what he can do with REAL
musicians like he does on the new Loretta Lynn CD. Oh well. I don't know if there are
plans for this movie to be released theatrically or on DVD. Director Roca says that he
screened the final film to the Stripes and they liked it a lot.
And that's IT for SIFF this year! If you really read this whole thing, I worry about your
sanity, but I thank you anyway.
-Yogi |
| 4:42:28 PM |
|
|
| 6/27/2004 |
| Sunday, Sunday, Sunday |
Well, I've just happily discovered that both of my albums are available for sale at Apple's iTunes Store! AND, somebody downloaded a song, AND I already got paid! Which one did they download? Why of course, they downloaded the song I didn't write, my version of The Beatles "Tomorrow Never Knows." I guess I should thank the surviving Beatles for NOT making their catalog available to the digital services for that sale. Songs sell for $.99 a piece at the iTunes store, and I got $.59, or about 60% of the money spent - which is FAR more favorable than the average percentage a recording artist sees from sales when they are signed to a major. So, in a perfect world, I could make a comfortable amount of money from my music with far fewer sales than the amount expected from the average "superstar."
One sale down! Can I retire yet? |
| 11:01:40 PM |
|
|
| 6/25/2004 |
| Good Times, Bad Times |
You know I've had my share.
Good:
Keneally's DOG Special Edition was in my mailbox today! That means it comes with a DVD! And I got the bonus Pup EP since I ordered like last December or something. I can assure you I will be listening to no other music for the next months. I'm gonna go watch the DVD with my dogs after I finish typing this.
Bad:
Gruno told me today that Kevin Gilbert's Lawnmower & Garden Supplies Studio in Pasadena, California will be CLOSING FOREVER later this summer! They already sold the piano! The console is going to some guy in San Francisco! AGGGHHHHH!
Never mind how cool the vibe is there. Nevermind that Kevin Gilbert built it himself! This wrecks some potential plans I was stewing on for 2005! Crap! Crap! Dang!
Seriously, that's poop. |
| 6:04:45 PM |
|
|
| 6/20/2004 |
| The Corporation |
Holy. Shit. I'm just back from seeing a new documentary, called The Corporation. Go see it. Like, today.
I can't really say much more about it, since my mind is still spinning. I will say that it makes me a little ashamed about my little "woe is me" rant the other day. Go see this movie. Oh, I know, you don't do documentaries. GO. Go and then come back and we'll talk about it. Just... go. |
| 5:57:31 PM |
|
| Me And My Dad |
Just got off the phone with my Dad for my "obligatory" (as we like to joke) annual call for Father's Day. In fact, I don't find calling my Dad obligatory in the slightest. This is my favorite picture I have of the two of us together:
It's kind of grainy and "lo-fi", but it's my favorite because for once I'm not ruining the photo by acting like I'm way too cool to be seen in a picture with my father. Sheesh, I can really be a prick sometimes (working on that one, Dad, sorry for all those other lousy photos). I miss him daily, but it's not my fault he insists on living on the east coast while his children (AND step-children) all live out west! Aw, I'm just funnin' Dad! I kid, I kid!
ANYWAY. Happy Father's Day, Dad. I love you more every day. |
| 12:51:31 PM |
|
|
| 6/19/2004 |
| Get Up There And Quit Whining |
Hot in the house tonight. We've actually had a couple of days of "summer-like" weather around here, which tends to warm up the second floor in the evenings. Last night, we actually had heat-lightning, a phenomina I don't know that I've observed in my nearly 11 years in Western Washington. Crazy. Had a hard time dropping off to sleep while watching it.
I actually have had a busy time at work the last couple of weeks - a rapidly-approaching deadline in two weeks has gotten me going, though not really at the pace I'd prefer. Why is it that I tend to only get motivated by impending due dates? Oh, you do that too? OK, I don't feel so bad. I'm probably going to be going into work this weekend because of it. Not my favorite pasttime, working on weekends. Still, some overtime might be in the cards over the next couple of weeks, and that's always a good thing when I can get it.
I've been chafing at some newly self-imposed boundaries of late - I'm budgeted pretty much down to my last earned penny each week right now, all to implement a plan I have of getting all of my outstanding debts (except my car loan) paid off by the time this contract at MS ends (which to my knowledge is September 30). To do so, I've had to cut out nearly every frivolous expense and even some non-frivolous expenses, including some things that might surprise you: for one, I've put the band, Half Zaftig, on hiatus for the rest of the year. That means EVERYTHING having to do with the band, all the recording we've been doing, any gigs, even rehearsals. Rehearsal space costs money, and on the new budget, there ain't enough of it to subsidize rehearsing, and no rehearsing means no gigs, since I'm not the type to take a non-rehearsed band out in front of people. So. That means no new single, no new demo tracks, no nothing for the rest of 2004. How ya like them apples? Of course, this doesn't preclude me from writing new music to play with the band whenever I can afford to get it back together, which I'll be doing. Do I sound cavalier about this? That's because I've lived with this knowledge for nearly a month now - I let the band know in the first week of June after stuffing them full of excellent seafood at The Bell Street Diner. They are all playing in other bands, so they'll be plenty active if you Seattle locals want to see them, keep tabs on their schedules at their Web sites: here, here, and here. Actually, Pete the drummer is playing drums for a band called Charlie Drown, and they've got a new album coming out produced by some guy from a band called KMFDM, and they may have to go touring all over hither and yon for it or something, and so who knows whether my band mates will even be in town when I'm able to have a band again. There I go, sounding cavalier about something that should possibly come across as bad news - but really, I'm OK with it. Is there a possibility that I won't even bother reforming the band again? Sure. I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm going to be doing musically and creatively in the next year, once I get myself out of the debt that keeps crippling every project I start. Next year, as a result of me adhering to this Draconian budget plan, promises to be a good one in the finances department. So what I'm doing now is figuring out my priorities, and deciding what I'm gonna do with this money. Right now, recording a new record is looking to be my primary goal for 2005 - and so I have to decide if I want to also pay to keep a live band going while I'm making a new album. Heck, do I even want a live band at all?
I heard myself ask that very question out loud just yesterday, and it shocked me. You see, I was with an old friend and past musical compadre, Rocky Polan, who is now visiting from where he's currently living, in Los Angeles. I met him in the fall of 1993 when he was living in Seattle, when he answered Stop Hitting Me's ad in the Rocket looking for a bass player. I later played in his band Thread in early 1996. Since about 1998, Rocky's been bouncing around between New York, Miami (where he's from), Tokyo, and Los Angeles. He's been doing some acting and modeling, in addition to pursuing music.
Rocky is a very different guy now than when I knew him in the mid-90's, he even lived in the same house with me for about a year. Back then he would stay up all night, every night, writing music on his Korg keyboard. His single-mindedness was darned impressive, and inspiring. He's also a very gifted songwriter and composer, especially when it comes to melody and structure. His lyrics were always lazy and obtuse, because he didn't really care about "poetic" content when it came to songs, just the music. Rocky was a fierce and opinionated band leader, and I eventually quit Thread because in the new music we were working on and learning, he started asking me to not play, preferring that the sequencer play the bass parts. I loved his music, but I wasn't going to stand on stage and do nothing during gigs, so that was it for Thread for me.
Somewhere about a year before Rocky left Seattle in 1998, he became really concerned about how he looked - and this was a guy who would literally wear the same pair of pajama bottoms EVERYWHERE (along with a winter coat that still had a price tag hanging from one sleeve), to the grocery store, to the library, to the video store. In the intervening years, he's undergone quite a transformation - he's model cute, exotically good-looking, and gregarious. He dresses in all the hip fashions, and in fact actually dresses a little younger than he is - probably to appeal to younger women (more about that in a minute). You'd have to have known him before to understand how extreme this makeover is. But yesterday at the restaurant where I met him and Sean Hester for lunch, not one cute girl could get past our table without Rocky enthusiastically hailing them, getting their names, life histories, and yes, even some phone numbers. Now he's one of those guys that makes all the ladies feel great about themselves (in the first five minutes of knowing them!), and he obviously has some serious physical appeal to them as well - you can see it in how their whole manner changes as soon as they get a good look at his smiling face. It's truly impressive. It's also, on his side of the equation anyway, completely empty and devoid of anything other than self-interest. One thing that is exactly the same about Rocky is his extreme selfishness. Rocky is all about Rocky and no one else. That he manages to make this trait seem almost endearing is another item in his bag of tricks. I would never trust Rocky for anything, nor would I ever rely on him for anything. If it sounds like I'm bashing the guy, well, I am and I'm not. If nothing else, Rocky is consistent - you always know where you stand with him - you don't have any stand with him. Fact is, I genuinely like Rocky and enjoy his company. He's extremely bright, witty, and gives good conversation. I guess you might find it weird that I can be friends with someone who does so many things I disagree with - and maybe it is a little strange. But maybe because Rocky knows I know his whole bullshit game, he's always unerringly straight with me, and we got to talking about the whole music thing. It may be that it was only with Rocky that I could have a truly honest conversation about some of these ideas floating around in my head. And that's where I surprised myself by admitting out loud that I don't know that I have the desire in me to be a "performer."
And frankly, I don't know that I ever did. The idea of making up songs and recording them thrilled my imagination. Having them come out on albums did, too. Getting up on stage and playing songs for people has always been a terrifying and difficult prospect, and always the part of the process I liked least. But if you want to make a living in music, or even have the best chance of getting people interested in seeking out your recordings, you have got to be a performer. The first question most people ask when they find out I've made some albums is, "When and where are you playing?"
The problem is, you can't just get up on a stage and just play your tunes and slink away. NO! You have to ENGAGE THE CROWD! You have to LOOK GREAT! You have to be SEXY! You have to be AN OBJECT OF THEIR FANTASY! You must be MYSTERIOUS! Etc., etc.
Get where I'm going with this? None of that stuff I just mentioned interests me. Not. At. All. I don't want to be famous. I don't even care if people think I'm a good guitar player, or a good singer, or if people think I can write good music or not. But I don't make music for my own personal vacuum; I would like for it to be heard and enjoyed by anyone who has the warped personality traits that will pre-dispose them to like this material. As a means to get the word out that "Yes, I create music," and "Yes, I think it has worth," then yes, reluctantly, I have accepted that on some level I've got to "be out there" and playing the music. Somewhere in here is the irony that this is required behavior for songwriters in their mid-30's who are still trying to get heard by five people in a shitty club on a Tuesday night, though it is NOT required of half-naked teen-aged pop queens who get to lip sync their entire live show. Ugh. I love creating and writing and recording. I don't love performing. All the hoops you have to jump through to be accepted as a performer require what I would consider "play-acting." And I think that sucks.
I'm just venting. I'll be out playing gigs again next year. I guess I really don't have a choice. So what I'm trying to do now is find a way to embrace these hateful realities, to turn them around on themselves, to make the fact that they are necessary evils work for me. Rocky is a good guy to talk to about these things, because to him, there are no moral or ethical quandries in considering these issues. To him, it's all about black and white, integrity be damned. You do this stuff, you accept the music "business" on it's face, or do something else. There's something refreshing in his approach - and in some small way I envy him a bit. But only a little. |
| 12:06:04 AM |
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| 6/14/2004 |
| Never Trust A Glimmer Twin |
Lizzy emailed me this little snippet that I had actually sent out to my band back in September. I had completely forgotten about this, and reading it again made me smile:
"I HAVE A DREAM
Actually, I HAD a dream last night, went like this:
For some reason, Keith Richards had joined our band. Lizzy was being all accomodating and stuff, even though I was vaguely unhappy about it, and she let Keith use her guitar rig.
Brian and Pete were happy because suddenly, EVERYBODY THOUGHT WE WERE COOL, now that Keith Richards was in the band. Like, they talked about how they always knew how awesome we were and it's about time people caught on. So, we play a show with Keith, and I'm thinking the whole time that I can't hear him, but the crowd loves him, so yay.
Then later I listened to the multitrack live recording, and I solo Keith's guitar. While we were busy playing "Firefly" and "What Have We Here", Keith was banging away the whole time at "Brown Sugar" and "Start Me Up."
Lizzy, the moral of the story is, don't ever let Keith Richards use your guitar rig."
I don't know where this stuff comes from, but I'm glad it does!
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| 4:29:53 PM |
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| 6/7/2004 |
| Another View |
| Bryan Beller just updated the "Rearview Mirror" page of his Web site, and one of the new clips is some control room audio of me tracking my guitar parts on the song "Projectile" from his fabulous debut album, View. It's worth noting that if you don't have the album yet, most of the tracks do not sound like "Projectile." I wouldn't want the ornery-ness of that song to scare anyone away. Bryan's album is a tremendous collection of music, and you need to buy three copies and listen to them simultaneously on three CD players. Don't ask why, just do it! |
| 3:11:45 PM |
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| 6/4/2004 |
| Good Enough To... Uh |
I'm supposed to be sleeping, but I wanted to post this fabulous quote from the latest TapeOp magazine:
"This Know-Nothingism, where ignorance is fine - instant gratification. 'It's good enough.' These are all the phrases that will be the destruction of American culture. It will not be the Taliban. It will not be Al Qaeda. It will be ourselves. Every major civilization has fallen of its own weight. It was never conquered from the outside. And we're playing the same game historically that other advanced societies have done. We're destroying ourselves by sloppy attitudes, by a lack of dedication."
-Walter Sear
Hey, when you're right, you're right, and I think Mr. Sear is dead on. TapeOp is a magazine for people who like to make recordings, and you can sign up for a free subscription at their Web site. It's sort of impossible to beat a deal like that. All the techie stuff in the articles goes right over my head, but I usually learn something every issue. My favorite magazine by far these days. |
| 1:09:32 AM |
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